Following one of my parent workshops, a woman related an incident in which another parent called her at home to scold her for not inviting her child to a birthday party. The woman relating the story was floored that she would get such a call and asked me what I thought about that. My initial thoughts were two things: it's so hard to see our children feeling left out and how much more parenting help the woman who called, needs.
Stepping up on behalf of your child is one thing, but over stepping boundaries to protect them unnecessarily is another. That mother should never have made that call and I at least hope that her child did not know that she was making it. If so, that woman's child may grow expecting someone else to always solve their problems and they may even lack the ability to handle disappointment and other difficult emotions.
So what do you do if your child is left sitting on a bench at the game or off the list of a party? The two most important things is to use the best listening skills you can conjure up and affirm your child's feelings in that moment. Avoid telling your child that she shouldn't feel that way and don't try to make it all better. A child processing their own feelings is a huge step in self-soothing and problem-solving.
One day when I picked my young daughter up from school, she was crying and said that a certain girl wasn't her friend anymore. I remember how difficult it was to see her hurting and I had difficulty fighting the urge to find a way to make it up to her. But I remembered my own childhood, how friends could change in an instant and for no obvious reason.
I let her cry it out and asked lots of open-ended questions to get her to talk about it. I wanted her to know that I was there for her and ready to listen. By the time we arrived at our destination, the tears had subsided and I was amazed to hear her sooth herself by saying that she still had a few other friends in her class. She even talked about having some play time with those other friends.
In addition to letting them vent, it's equally important to let a child know that what they are feeling is OK and that it's normal. Avoid talking too much in the beginning, but when they are ready to listen, validate their feelings with phrases like, "It must have really hurt your feelings when you didn't get an invitation," or "Wow, you must have been so disappointed." I found it helpful to offer examples from my own life when I experienced disappointment or hurt, being sure to use stories that she could comprehend.
In summary, don't rescue, don't try to "make things all better", and don't minimize the experience. Instead, be present, be silent, and be encouraging. Allow your child to experience life!
Bill Corbett has a degree in clinical psychology and has been invited to deliver the keynote address at a large education conference in Holland this Fall. He is happily married with three grown children, three grandchildren, and three step children and resides in Enfield, CT. You can visit his Web site www.CooperativeKids.com for further information and parenting advice.
Hello again, it's Ayn from little illuminations! Mother's Day is this weekend (it crept up on me from out of nowhere!) and I thought I would share what some of our classrooms have planned for Mother's Day gifts this year. I am always inspired when I walk down the hall and see what is going on in other classrooms! This sweet Mother's Day card is sweet and simple--just a painted handprint and a cutout heart with the message: "I ♡ Mommy!". This will be laminated so the keepsake will last a lifetime!
This sweet craft foam plant pot with arm as a stem and foam flower embellishments was made from a store-bought kit but could easily be made with craft foam. The children dictated the reason they loved their mom. A treasure for sure!
This little card with fingerprint flowers is just adorable! Here's the poem:
This pretty flower that you see was made for you by little me. My finger made the flower part, showing love from all my heart!
I think this little bookmark is perfect! I am always reading and usually have several books going at one time. This would be perfect! (hint, hint, children of mine! ;)
The same class made this little necklace by stringing cardstock flowers and pasta on yarn. I have several handmade pasta necklaces that I treasure from the years when my girls were small!
This poem with handprints has been around forever, but it never gets old. Parents treasure it and it is so true---those little hands do grow up so fast!!!!
Sometimes you get discouragedBecause I am so smallAnd always leave my fingerprintsOn furniture and walls.
But every day I'm growing -I'll be grown some dayAnd all those tiny handprintsWill surely fade away.
So here's a little handprintJust so you can recallExactly how my fingers lookedWhen I was very small.
Of course, I saved something special for my last idea to share. This was completely new to me and I am completely and totally in love with this idea!!! The children drew with marker on a piece of paper with a little Mother's Day message written on it. The teachers transferred the image onto a candle from the dollar store using wax paper and a hair dryer---genius!!! These turned out so precious --- I don't know that I would ever light it, but I would definitely display it proudly forever!
I must share this sweet Mother's Day bulletin board with you! The kids made a giant heart collage of mommies and children cut from magazines and pictures of each child with their mommy was posted around it!
***This post contains affiliate links for your convenience. Little Illuminations is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program.*** Looking for some good books to read with kids about Mother's Day? These are my favorites!
Do you have a favorite handmade gift from your children? I'd love to hear about it! Share it with us in the comments below!!!
I'm thrilled to say I have been blogging here on PreK+K Sharing since the very beginning! I am a Ga. Pre-K teacher, serving 4 and 5 year olds in an inclusive setting. Stop by and visit me anytime at littleilluminations.blogspot.com where I share my PreK classroom adventures or visit the little illuminations fanpage on facebook! And be sure to check out PreK+K Sharing EEE!
Teaching children to be kind to animals is such an important lesson that many don't hear enough. We talk about being kind friends to each other a lot, but often don't transfer that lesson to animals.
This lesson with Trouper gave my children a real, live picture of a sweet little animal who was badly mistreated and hurt and then saved and loved by someone who knew what it meant to be kind to animals. I think it's so important for the children to be able picture a real life situation, a concrete example, to remember this lesson of being gentle and loving to all animals.
I shared it with teachers at my school. Feel free to share with your teacher friends. It's a great lesson for this time of year. It can be one lesson or expanded over a couple of days. Everything you need for the lesson is right here except the book, that you can purchase here if you'd like.
Another really fun part about Trouper is that his "mom," Miss Dot, LOVES to hear from children with letters or questions about Trouper. She will write back to the children. This makes the lesson even more real and memorable for children. Can you tell that we loved this lesson?
Here is my lesson about Trouper, the Blind Raccoon Ambassador!
My parents just returned from a trip to Florida. While they were eating outside one day at Fisherman's Wharf, they noticed a baby carriage nearby. They peeked in expecting to see... a baby... OR maybe a little dog, since they've seen some little dogs in carriages before. Much to their surprise, it was a raccoon! Luckily, my parents are friendly and like to talk to people. They started a conversation, learned about this special raccoon, and shared the story with me, which led to a fabulous day in my class!
Trouper is a very special raccoon. He is a survivor of animal cruelty- a real "trouper." When he was eight weeks old, he was beaten by a golf club and left for dead on a golf course in North Carolina. But God had other plans for this little raccoon! Someone knew the perfect person to call, and this is how he came to be cared for by Miss Dot. She has now been Trouper's "mom" for six years. He is blind. He can't feed himself, smell, climb, use his hands, or defend himself, but that hasn't stopped him OR Dot! He CAN hear, eat when he is hand fed, walk, stand on his back legs, and feel with his feet,whiskers, and body.
Miss Dot even moved to Florida so that she would be able to keep and care for Trouper. I would say SHE is quite a trouper!
Trouper is also now a service animal who helps teach both adults and children how to care for and be kind to animals.
Miss Dot wanted others to know of and learn from Trouper's story. She found the perfect person to share her story, a wonderful author named Kyle Miller. Kyle is writing a series of books about Trouper's life.
My mother bought this book for my class and found just the raccoon puppet to go along with it.
We had such a wonderful day learning with Trouper. It was perfect for Earth Day, too!
After we read the book, we first talked about never, ever approaching a wild animal of any kind because that isn't safe. Trouper is now a pet that lives with Miss Dot and a safe animal for people to touch. The book has a great lesson about being safe around wild animals and what to do if you see one.
Next, we shared questions that we wondered about Trouper and wanted to ask Miss Dot. Each child wrote a note to Miss Dot thanking her for saving Trouper and asking a question (or two).
Then, I found a fabulous site with guided drawing online called Art for Kids Hub. The video was just the right speed for the children to follow along, and they absolutely loved it. The kids were really proud of themselves for following directions and drawing a great raccoon! Here it is if you'd like to try it with your class. They have lots of different guided drawing videos.
You can also print out a paper copy for the children to draw, but the video was so much fun.
I found some great videos about Trouper on Youtube that I also shared with the class. They loved them. These videos are also at Trooper's website!
This one was great for showing how he listens and feels his way to where he wants to go.
We had to finish up with some "Fuzziest Home Videos"... 10 Funniest Raccoon Videos! If you want to hear some serious LAUGHTER from five year olds, this will do the trick! (My favorite is the one where the raccoon takes handfuls of cat food from the cat and walks away with it.)
Teaching children to love, care for, and treat animals gently and kindly is so important. Some children never hear that lesson. Here is a poem that I found from May Days, Macmillan Seasonal Activity Packs, 1985. I just loved it.
.....................Little children, never give .....................Pain to things that feel or live.
.....................Let the gentle robin find
.....................All the crumbs you leave behind.
.....................Feed your dog and let him run
.....................Bounce and play and bark in fun.
.....................Pet the kitten soft and small;
.....................She'll come to you when you call.
.....................Let the bunny hop and play
.....................On the lawn at close of day.
.....................Watch the chipmunk or the mouse
.....................Peep out of her little house.
.....................Let these creatures run along
.....................And do not do them any wrong.
I wrote a simple little poem and made a little freebie "Be Kind to Animals" paper (featuring Trouper) if you would like it.
Just click on the picture below!
I explained to the children that sometimes being kind to an animal means leaving it alone, and not going near it- like with wild animals- or even with your friends in line when I keep saying, "Keep your hands to yourself!" (But that's another lesson...)
If you would like more information about Trooper you can find it at his very own website. Thank you to Miss Dot and to Kyle Miller for sharing his story with the world, so that everyone can be more aware of the importance of loving all animals.
Here are some other books that I love to use to expand this lesson:
I absolutely LOVE How to Heal a Broken Wing. The illustrations and the message are just the sweetest. Look at these precious illustrations. I love how he uses the illumination to highlight what he wants the reader to focus on in the picture.
Here's more about it from Amazon:
"No one saw the bird fall."
In a city full of hurried people, only young Will notices the bird lying hurt on the ground. With the help of his sympathetic mother, he gently wraps the injured bird and takes it home. In classic Bob Graham style, the beauty is in the details: the careful ministrations with an eyedropper, the bedroom filled with animal memorabilia, the saving of the single feather as a good-luck charm for the bird's return to the sky. Wistful and uplifting, here is a tale of possibility — and of the souls who never doubt its power.
I found some sweet pictures to go with this lesson to share with you. Our class made posters to hang up around the school that said , "Be Kind to Animals," in honor of Trouper and Miss Dot.
Here are some of the posters we hung up around the school.
I hope you found some new ideas to share with your children! Have fun!
In summary, don't rescue, don't try to "make things all better", and don't minimize the experience. Instead, be present, be silent, and be encouraging. Allow your child to experience life!
