Family Involvement or Engagement?

            This past spring, I attended the Alabama pre-K conference in Montgomery. The closing session featured Luis Hernandez (Early Childhood Education Specialist at Western Kentucky University) who focused on the links between school readiness and family engagement. However, I have found that most schools and programs focus on family involvement versus engagement. There are some key differences, and I have spent quite some time since the conference thinking about these differences and how to promote engagement over involvement in programs for children.

            Most schools or childcare programs promote family involvement. Parents at a minimum are asked to complete questionnaires so teachers/caregivers can learn more about the unique needs of the child upon enrollment. For too many programs/educational settings this is the limit of information exchange from the family. Parents are often asked to come in once a year for a meeting to discuss the child’s progress. Sometimes parents come to these meetings, and when they do, the information about the child is given from teacher to parent with little request for information from the parent.

            Many schools/programs create opportunities for parents to be “involved” with their child’s education. Often these opportunities come in the form of “please send a box of tissues and gallon of hand sanitizer on Monday,” or “be sure to check your child’s folder weekly for important assignments/newsletters/etc.” Sometimes these opportunities come in the form of PTA meetings, school-wide assemblies, and an end of the year awards program.

            In all cases listed above, we are asking parents to know what is going on at school and contribute something back to the school. All too often parents are told that involvement is expected, but when a parent truly wishes to be fully involved or “engaged” in their child’s learning process and school activities, there are not true ways to do this or school personnel do not really know how to help a parent be engaged.

           

            There are two categories of family “engagement” in their child’s education setting. One is being an active consumer of the education program. The other is being an active partner with the child in his/her education process.

            This bears the question, “How are you helping families become engaged in their child’s education?” both at the macro and micro levels? To break this down, we can ask more questions of ourselves and the programs/schools we’re working in:

• How are you guiding families to be their child’s teacher?
• How do you encourage families to expand their own education?
• How do you help families nurture their child’s learning and development? How do you assist families in their child’s transition to school?
• How do you connect families to other families?
• How do you support families in advocating for their children?
• What barriers might there be for families that get in the way of their being active participants in the process?

            Here are some things to consider when designing/evaluating your family engagement policies and practices:

            

     √     Think about ways families can be an active part of the process (versus passive). There is a difference between asking parents to be sure their child is reading every night and asking parents to read to their children or come to the learning environment to share a reading experience.

     √     Be creative. Some families have work requirements or other family dynamics that make it difficult to be engaged in their child’s learning. A grandmother might be able to make smocks for the art center but never come inside the building due to a transportation or mobility issue. School programs may need to be held in the evening and during the school day (yes, that’s two separate times for the same program) due to differences in work schedules.

     √     Individualize engagement opportunities. Not everyone can contribute in the same way. If there is a language barrier, perhaps a non-English speaking parent could make flash cards of words and pictures in his/her home language to share with the class. The teacher could then add the English word and exchange cards with the family throughout the year.

     √     Be dynamic, sensitive, positive, and respectful. Not every family has had a positive education experience. Some parents may truly be afraid of schools or places where others have authority of their child. If a family is not involved much less engaged in their child’s education, think about outlying factors that could be at play and brainstorm ways to manage those factors.

            Engagement begins with trust and respect. There must be awareness of cultural differences (and this isn’t just about country of origin or ethnicity). Communication must be open for two-way interactions (be careful about being technology or non-tech dependent). We must be intentional and authentic with our practices and non-judgmental when working toward true family engagement. Think about families as learners themselves. We have awesome opportunities and responsibilities with all the children and their families in our programs!!

Dr. Ellaine B. Miller, PhD, is the Managing Director for the Family Child Care Partnerships program at Auburn University. www.humsci.auburn.edu/fccp

Don't Blame the Parents... Work with Them

A big frustration for preschool teachers is having that child in the class that demonstrates a behavior that is challenging and disruptive.  You have tried everything to get the child to cooperate so the next step is to contact the parents.  The director hopes that it won’t come down to having to remove the child from the school so she keeps her fingers crossed that the parents will be open enough to help with the situation.

Approaching the parents of the child can be the real challenge.  You may worry about whether they will be receptive to the problem or will they get defensive?  Will they take the stance that they don’t know what to do or that their child couldn't possibly be behaving this way?  Having worked with both schools and parents for many years, let me offer five tips for partnering with parents in resolving in-school behavior issues.

BEFORE CONTACTING THE PARENTS.  A child in your classroom who is demonstrating challenging behavior can be incredibly frustrating.  Before reaching out to the parents to turn this problem over to them, be sure that you've taken care of your responsibility first.  Has the child’s teacher received adequate training to handle the problem in her classroom?  Have you considered seeking out a behavior analyst to observe and assess the situation?  Not all challenging behaviors start at home.  Because children are affected by adult emotional chaos, some behavior situations can be caused by the teacher herself.  Is she handling her classroom well and is she entering the classroom in a peaceful and emotionally balanced state?

PARTNER WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.  Put your fears and

preconceived ideas aside in order to create an atmosphere of openness and acceptance.  You may have information about the parents and their lifestyle, but it’s best to prepare for the conversation with an open mind and without assuming how they will react or what they will say.  Remember, you receive what you put forth.  Assuming you will receive the best in parents is more likely to make it happen.

CLEARLY DEFINE THE PROBLEM.  As the teacher or director, you are the professional and usually have more knowledge on child development than the parents do.  Therefore it’s important that you clearly define the problem you’re having with the child in the classroom and put it in terms the parents will be able to understand.  While the child may be disruptive and uncooperative in your classroom, do your best to see the child’s behavior for what it is.  According to many child psychologists, a child’s challenging behavior is often indications of an unmet need such as attention or power.  It could also be that the child is just too immature and not yet ready for the classroom situation.  Consult a behavior specialist if one is available to you before assessing the problem you’re having with the child.

GIVE THE PARENTS HOMEWORK.  Do not assume that you can just tell the parent about the problem you’re experiencing and expect them to know what to do.  Think about the behavior challenge and help your parents understand what similar behavior to look for at home.  Give them specific actions or discipline measures to take at home, especially if they experience the same behavior challenges that are being seen in the classroom.  When children see the same discipline measures in the home as well as the classroom, they are more likely to become cooperative a lot quicker.

SCHEDULE A FORMAL MEETING.  Once the parents have had an opportunity to look for the challenging behaviors at home and/or to try out suggestions from you, schedule a formal meeting with them including the teaching staff and the director.  Invite discussion about their findings and progress at home.  Treating the parents as members of your team and keeping a positive attitude about the initiatives of this group will avoid having the discussion turn into an uncomfortable conflict.

SEND PROGRESS REPORTS.  If the parents are cooperative and everyone has agreed to work together, send home progress reports about your observations of the child’s behavior in the classroom and invite parents to do the same.  Stay engaged with the parents and thank them for their cooperation.  Be sure that your approach with them is kind, supportive and encouraging.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS.  If you've done all that you can and either the parents are uncooperative or the child’s behavior is not changing, you may be forced with having to ask the parents to remove their child from the school.  As uncomfortable as this might be, it is always best to communicate this to the parents in person and not through email or letter.  Be sensitive to the parents’ position and avoid becoming defensive of yours.  Determine the length of time that should elapse before the child will be allowed to re-enroll in the school and help the parents focus on that date.  Consider sharing the information regarding this incident with other teachers to help educate them on best practices in their classrooms.

Bill Corbett is the author of the award winning book series “Love, Limits, & Lessons: A

Parent’s Guide to Raising Cooperative Kids” in English and in Spanish, and the founder and president of Cooperative Kids.  He has three grown children, three step children, two grandchildren, and lives with his wife Elizabeth and teen step daughter Olivia near Hartford, CT.  You can visit his Web site www.CooperativeKids.com for further information and parenting advice.