My Child Wants a Snake and I Don't Like Them!

What do you do when your child suddenly becomes fascinated with snakes, reptiles, or other creatures that make you uncomfortable?

In my podcast Creating Cooperative Kids (click this title to listen to the audio podcast), I sit down with environmental educator and author Nancy Hopkins, better known as The Snake Lady, to discuss how parents can respond when their child's curiosity clashes with their own fears.

Nancy shares practical advice on introducing children to reptiles in a safe and educational way, explains why many adults develop a fear of snakes, and offers simple strategies for exploring a child's interest without immediately saying "no."

We'll also discuss her children's book, Sassy Green Tree Boa, and how storytelling can help both

Nancy Hopkins, a.k.a
The Snake Lady

children and parents better understand these often-misunderstood animals.

Whether you're a parent facing this dilemma right now or simply interested in learning more about reptiles, this conversation may change the way you think about snakes.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Why children are naturally curious about snakes

• How parents may unintentionally pass their fears on to their children

• Practical first steps before bringing a reptile into the home

• Educational resources and hands-on experiences for families

• How books can help children and parents learn together

Join us for an entertaining and informative conversation with The Snake Lady and discover how curiosity, education, and family exploration can sometimes turn fear into understanding.

Here is the interview:

Kids are born with no fear. Unless they're taught to fear them, their curiosity gets the best of them and it's something fascinating and unique. So the kids love that about it. The problem comes in is when you have parents who through the years have been conditioned to hate and fear reptiles, especially snakes, that they put unrealistic expectations on their children where they should just kind of embrace that the kids are curious and want to learn about reptiles.

So it sounds like you're saying that parents sometimes project their fears on their own.

Absolutely.

Yes. That happens more often than not actually. I was at the center yesterday. There was this little girl in her pink dress with her parents and one of the keepers was walking around with one of our snakes. She just went right up to that snake and was petting it like a puppy. And it just shows you the mom and dad just stood there and let her do it and said she just loves every animal. It just kind of proves itself that unless they teach that child fear, the kids are uninhibited. They love them. They don't See Them as evil or anything.

That's a good point. So let's talk directly about the problem. The child comes home, they might have seen a snake at school or they went on an exploration trip through school. Now they want a snake or a lizard or something. And mom says, "Oh no, not in this house." So let's talk about that problem. What can parents do about that?

The first thing I love to tell parents who come up to me and say, "Oh my gosh, my kid wants to bring a snake in the house." I say one thing, start education. Research first. And believe it or not, I'll tell parents the best way to start to see if a child wants a reptile in the house and that you can overcome your fear as a parent is literally, you're going to giggle at this one, is get a stuffed snake.

Really?

Yeah. Get a stuffed snake. Let the kids be responsible for that and see if they have that responsibility and the attention span that it takes to invite a reptile into your house. The parents, I actually recommend my book because it's a great book and it's a non-threatening introductory level to snakes for children. The book is based for children ages two to eight, but it has helped many parents understand that snakes are kind of cool.

So you're saying then to start with the stuffed snake to see if that satisfies their need or if it needs to go further. And talk about your book. Sassy Green Tree Boa is the title of your book, right? 

I was in environmental education about 30 years ago. And while I was teaching, there was a big gap in

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child appropriate books about snakes that weren't threatening, that weren't scary. After 30 years retirement and everything else, I've gotten back into environmental education. But I always wanted to present a book to children that they could read that was a non-threatening introductory to snakes. The book is all about Sassy the Green Tree Boa, and she goes on an adventure and she meets snakes and she meets real snakes. That's the difference between a cartoon book and mine. Mine is educational. So each snake she meets, there's a little bit of education about that particular snake on each of the pages when she makes a snake. It's all done in a very whimsical way. And at the end, she decides that it's okay that she's just a plain green snake and that she's met lots of friends along the way.

Basically that each of the snakes, even though she meets a couple of scary ones, they're not that scary once you get to know them.

Is it in a forming of a storybook that a child can be read to? And how does it benefit parents?

It is in a storybook form. It's very repetitive in its writing. Children can learn how to read reading it also. It helps parents because I've had parents who don't even like to see pictures of snakes. They have picked up the book because their kids want to learn about snakes. And they have actually said to me, "Thank you so much because by reading this book with my child, it's actually alleviated a little bit of my fear." I put humor into it also. The book has a lot, it's very light, very humorous. They found that very soothing. They weren't like, "Oh my gosh, my kid wants to read a book about snakes." It was more like, "Okay, this is a fun book about snakes."

Why do you think a lot of adults don't like snakes?

Well, believe it or not, Bill, you can see the roots of this back in biblical times. Adam and Eve, the snake was portrayed as evil. And through the ages, it's always been thought of that way. As people turn into adults, they may have had some sort of traumatic experience with a snake, been startled by a snake, and that has increased their fear. And they've never attempted to get over it. They've just decided that snakes are scary and snakes are bad, and they don't try to conquer that fear. I grew up with snakes. They were a pet in our family, just like a dog, just like a cat. So it all depends on your exposure too. And I've always told people, it's okay. It is okay to be frightened of snakes. It really is. If you have a fear of them, that's fine. But the one thing I tell everybody is it's okay to be afraid of them.

So people call you the snake lady, you say, right?

They do. They do. I have been known as a snake lady for a very long time.

So beyond your book, and you mentioned the center, what is it you do? And what is the center?

Riverside Reptile Education Center. I volunteer there once a week as, believe it or not, a tortoise walker. But I also -

Wait, wait, wait. A tortoise walker?

Yes. The tortoises need exercise. You've seen all those big tortoises in other zoos. Riverside Reptile is a reptile zoo. Well, if they don't get exercise, it is very difficult for them to lift that 100, 200 pound body up and move around. So they started this program last year where volunteers come in and we literally walk the tortoises around the center. And they have a tortoise terrace where we can go outside with them and walk them around and literally give them exercise so they're able to carry that hundred pound body around.

And where's the center located?

The center's located in Enfield, Connecticut. I volunteer there. Yes.

And it's a place where parents can bring their kids and get up and close to reptiles, right?

Absolutely. It is a wonderful place for people to get up and close to reptiles and see reptiles you will never see in your lifetime. They have some reptiles there that are just amazing. Some of the snakes that they have, you can view them safely.

Do you have any funny snake stories? 

Oh, I Have two in particular. So the first one is when my oldest son was four or five, we belonged to a mommy and children's playgroup. And we were meeting one day at one of the houses and it was a beautiful farm. And we were walking through a field and I saw a piece of plywood. And having boys, my son, he said, "Oh, come on, Tim. Let's go look. Let's see if we can find a snake underneath it." Now there was seven other parents, moms with their children with us. And Tim and I went running over and we lifted up the thing and there was a couple snakes. So of course I reached down and picked them up. And I turned around to show the other kids and the parents. All Timothy and I saw were all these parents And kids Running away. So that one was quite funny. And that's when I have to realize that not everybody loves snakes, so I have to kind of dial it back sometimes. So the other funniest story is while I was doing my environmental education, my car had a big magnetic sign on it that said environmental education. My handle, the snake lady on it. Unfortunately, one night I did get T-boned, didn't get hurt. So the police arrived and the police officer kept going around and around and around my car with his flashlight shining in the. And I was like, "What is going on here?" I'm like, "No, officer, I'm not hurt." And he finally came back up to the front door and he said, "Ma'am, are there snakes in this vehicle?" And I'm like, "No, I don't have any in there." Then he relaxed and went about asking me all the right questions. But it was so funny. 

I guess from what you're saying then is if a child expresses interest in reptiles, bring them to places like Riverside.

Absolutely. 

And get exposure to see if they really do like that. 

Yes. 

And then also for the parents to get used to handling them as well, so the parent gets beyond their fear. But you bring up a very good point earlier. We got to be careful not to be projecting our fears onto our children artificially. And if they have that interest, then help them experience more of that to see if it's what they really want, right?

Exactly. You think of it, it's a good family thing to do together. If you have a child interested in it, explore it together. Research and everything else. I mean, the internet is wonderful. You just go on, you spend time together researching snakes, learning about snakes and everything else. It's kind of like sports and stuff. If a child is really into hockey and stuff like that, as a parent, you're going to get involved with that. You're going to get involved with all the ins and outs of the sport. Same thing with snakes. You're going to get involved. You may not be hands-on, which is okay. But if you explore it together with your kids when the child is old enough and responsible enough, then you'll say, "Okay, all right, we can bring a snake into the house. I know you're going to be responsible. I've kind of gotten over my fear a little bit, and I know a little more about them and know what to expect."

And what's important is coming up with boundaries and rules about when they can handle them and also participating in their care and everything. Have you ever been to the Repticons?

Yes. A few of the Repticon shows. I actually vend at the Show Me Reptile shows. Actually, I have a booth there and my book does very well. When I Go to these. I have a lot of parents buying the books for their kids. The book does very well.

That's great. And so it's a show place where you bring a snake and let them handle it?

I don't bring any snakes because the Show Me Reptiles or the Rapticons or any type of reptile show. There are people there already.

Okay. Handlers. 

Yep. It's a place where you can purchase snakes and stuff like that. And yeah, it's great because some of the kids, so what'll happen is some of the keepers who are there selling their snakes, and they have the same mindset as I do. They're like, "Well, maybe your kid's not ready yet." And a lot of them send them over to my table where they can pick up the book. I kind of talk to them about things about owning a snake and stuff like that. There are a lot of responsible reptile keepers out there.

I love the fact that you set up a booth and make your book available. Your book is obviously available on Amazon. Nancy, this has been really informative for me, so thank you so much for coming on the show.

You're welcome.

Good luck with more snakes and thanks for volunteering down at the center as well.

ABOUT THE GUEST: Nancy has lived in New England her entire life. She is an avid outdoors woman and nature lover. In the early 2000 she developed her own environmental education program focusing on native new england snakes Nancy has delivered presentations to all age groups highlighting snakes secret and pertinent roles in the ecosystem. Although she had to step away from environmental education to raise her children, she always knew she would  someday return to  being a voice for snakes. After 30 years, Nancy , known as the snake lady to many, has returned to share her passion for snakes, but this time through a series of children's books. You can email nancy at snakelady1358@gmail.com.

ABOUT THE HOST: Bill Corbett is a parenting educator, author, speaker, and creator of Cooperative Kids. Drawing on decades of experience raising three children and helping families build calmer, more respectful relationships, he teaches practical strategies that combine love, limits, and personal responsibility. He is the author of Love, Limits & Lessons: The Parent Toolbox and has published more than 100 books on parenting, personal growth, education, and family life. You can email Bill at bill@cooperativekids.com.