Creating a Safe Zone For Kids

Hi! I'm Ayn and I am a Ga. Pre-K teacher, serving 4 and 5 year olds in an inclusive setting. I share my classroom adventures on my blog, little illuminations. 

Childhood is a magical time. It can also be very frustrating! Learning to navigate our own feelings and emotions and dealing with others' as well can be a slippery slope. Much of the time that children are acting out, they are actually struggling with managing their emotions. 

One of the ways I help children in my classroom learn to deal with emotions is by providing a "safe zone" for them to get away. Not so long ago, "time out" was the suggested way to deal with difficult behavior. A safe zone is NOT a "naughty chair/spot" or a time out area in the traditional sense. It does provide the child with an area to go for a "time out", but not as a punishment. The safe zone is a place where children can go to release emotions and take a few moments to regain composure. There may be a few times that I might suggest a child go to the safe zone to collect themselves, but most of the time the area is self-selected by the student without any adult prompting. Again, this is NOT a "time out" or punishment area!

One of the big conversations we have at the beginning of the year centers on talking about our safe zone. We discuss the reasons we have it, how to use it properly and the items that are available in the safe zone. I emphasize that it is not a punishment and that it is to be used only for a few minutes. 

Some of the items in our safe zone:

***soft toys to cuddle

***puppets to help act out frustrations and feelings

***a "squeeze" toy to release anger

(This one is just a stocking with a few rags stuffed inside and a face drawn on. )

***calming toys (I sometimes have a pinwheel in my box.)

***sensory bottles

***a writing box so children may write or draw about their problem

***picture chart of emotions

***books about emotions or anger

(I change the book titles out regularly. See below for some other great titles to add to your safe zone.)

***cushions, pillows, rocking chair (soft seating of some sort)

If a student has a particular item like a doll, blanket, book or other item that is soothing, they may bring it into the safe zone, as well.

I also have a few "portable" safe areas that can be used if the safe zone is in use, or the child prefers a different setting.

Some of the other "safe zones" in classrooms around our center:

One of the things I keep an eye out for is making sure that shy students are not using the area to withdraw from socialization. While this does happen, I have found that with guidance, the children most likely to withdraw can use this space as a place to "warm up" to the idea of interacting. After a few minutes, most children are ready to join a friend and begin playing.

I have also found that this is a great place for children with separation anxiety to transition to for a few minutes until they are ready to join the group. It is much less traumatic to sit in the quiet zone for a few minutes than to break down in the middle of the class. 

The sensory bottle pictured above is sweeping the blogosphere as a "time out" bottle. It is so easy to make and is so soothing to watch. I wish I could capture the beauty of the glitter in pictures, but photos just don't do them justice. All you need is a clear bottle and some glitter glue. I used about a half bottle of glitter glue and some warm water to dissolve the glue. I glued the top on to the bottle to secure it.

If you are looking for more sensory bottle ideas, I've devoted an entire post to sensory and discovery bottles here on PreK+K Sharing. You can find it here.

I hope you'll consider offering a "safe zone" in your home or classroom for the children in your care. It is one of the easiest ways to to help children self-regulate their emotions. I've found that the more ways I help children learn how to mange their emotions and frustrations, the less conflict and behavior problems I have to help them handle. 

Stop by and visit me anytime at littleilluminations.blogspot.com or visit the little illuminations fanpage on facebook! And be sure to check out PreK+K Sharing EEE!

 

Handling Aggressive Behavior in Young Children

First Comfort the Victim.  The next time you witness younger children fighting or hurting one another, your first response should be to comfort the victim without pity or drama.  If possible, you should also include the aggressive child in comforting of the victim.  Ask him to retrieve a cloth, a blanket, or even a drink of water if it's appropriate.  Be sure to use a quiet, calm and respectful tone as you take control.  Your immediate feelings may involve anger or frustration toward the aggressive child, but maintain control and stay calm.  Once the drama has cooled and the victim is cared for, take the aggressive child aside and remind him calmly and respectfully about boundaries and acceptable behavior.  This more peaceful response to the situation will provide an outstanding model and learning tool for both children.  

What is Bullying?  Bullying is any form of physical, emotional, or verbal mistreatment in which one holds an unequal power over another, purposely and repeatedly with the intent to hurt or humiliate.  A bully can be one tough kid harassing someone who is different in some way.  A bully’s behavior can be as simple as name-calling or as serious as confrontation resulting in injury.  No child is ever exempt from being picked on by a bully at some point in his life, and neither are adults.  In a recent study released by the American Medical Association, it was estimated that 3.2 million children are victims of bullying each year.  Being able to defend oneself when attacked by a bully requires both courage and skill – traits you can begin instilling in your child at any age.  

Teach Them How Not To Be A Target.  A bully’s common target is someone who demonstrates a lack of confidence and exhibits characteristics of weakness or insecurity.  Teach your children to stand tall, use a full voice, look the other child directly in the eyes, and exhibit confidence when stating what they want.  If your child does this, it will help to reduce the risk of being targeted by an aggressive child.  You can teach this to your child by modeling it yourself.  The most effective way of teaching children a new behavior is to role-play with them.  Allow them to see what the behavior looks like by modeling it for them, then allowing them to practice.  A child who stands, acts with and speaks with confidence is less likely to become a target of a bully.

Teach your children.  Teach them that they have the power to stop anyone from touching them, hurting them, or taking their things.  One of the most effective actions you can teach your child is described in many self-defense and confidence courses.  Stand tall and erect, and distribute weight evenly on both feet.  Hold your head high, extend their hand straight out in front of them with their flat palm toward the other child, saying “STOP!” in a loud and strong voice.  A bully halted in his or her tracks by a child drawing a clear, personal, physical or emotional boundary is more likely to walk away, often even respecting a child who had represented a potential victim.

Bill Corbett is the author of the award-winning parenting book series, LOVE, LIMITS, & LESSONS: A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS (in English and in Spanish) and the executive producer and host of the public access television show CREATING COOPERATIVE KIDS. As a member of the American Psychological Association and the North American Society for Adlerian Psychology, Bill provides parent coaching and keynote presentations to parent and professional audiences across the country. He sits on the board of the Network Against Domestic Abuse and the Resource Advisory Committee for Attachment Parenting International, and holds several degrees in clinical psychology. Bill's practical experience comes as a father of 3 grown children, a grandfather of two, and a stepdad to three.  You can learn more about his work at http://www.CooperativeKids.com and http://www.BillCorbett.com.