Challenging Behavior in Preschool

What IS challenging behavior?  And is it our issue?  A child's behavior "problem"?  And, what's a teacher to do?

When I attended the NAEYC Conference in Florida this past November, I took part in a research project that Yale University was working on.  

It was, in part, to study how teachers identify challenging behavior.  There was a written survey with several preschool behavior scenarios to respond to.  There was also a computer-based portion of the survey.

During the computer based portion, I was given a hand held device with a button on it and was instructed to watch a few video scenarios of preschoolers at play and to press the button any time I saw what I considered a challenging behavior take place.

The computer program they used actually tracked my eye movement so they could track and identify what portion of the video was playing when I presssed the button (sounds pretty sci-fi-ish!  ;) )

During the video portion (which took approximately 10 minutes), I only pressed the button once.  In speaking with other teachers who participated, some shared that they pressed the button once or twice where others said the pressed it far more times than that.

For example, in one scene 3 children were playing with toy cars at a table having a grand ole time.  And then, one child took the car from another child.

My hand was hovering over that button, but I didn't press it yet.  I wanted to see how the other child responded first.  She just looked at the "taker", then looked at the other child, then shrugged her shoulders and kept playing with what she had.  The other child then gave her one of his cars.  The taker continued playing.

I never pressed the button.  Two other teachers said they did not either.  Three other teachers said they did.  

This got us all thinking about how differently we all are when labeling behavior as challenging.  

Sometimes we insert ourselves into situations with children that do not need our help. Sometimes we let things go that we should have interceded in.  It can be a fine balance of knowing when to step in and when to let the situation unfold.

The scenario in the video I watched was a pretty benign one.  

However, we have all experience the above scenario where the result was wildly different!  One in which the result was the "takee" getting upset and crying, screaming or hitting the "taker".  One in which the "taker" either yelled back, laughed or even cried because he/she doesn't understand why they could not play with that car!

NOW who do you help first?? And how?  And which child is in the wrong?

A lot of how we respond to this will depend on how we define challenging behaviors.  In this later example and in the one in the video I watched, we all might react differently. And many times that is because of what we think needs to be controlled and needs attention.

We need to approach every challenge as an opportunity to teach problem solving skills. Children can not learn to negotiate problems if they are not allowed to have them.  As for how we react--Steve Gross M.S.W. said:

"...You can't spread what you don't have.  So the first person you need to learn how to control is yourself.  And actually that's the only person that you need to learn how to control..."  Why?  He explains that "...jumping to a reaction--it's like throwing gasoline on a fire."  

Wow!  Yes!  We've all felt like this.  One teacher actually emailed me using a similar analogy--that she feels like she spends all day running around, putting out behavior fires!

So, again:  What's a teacher to do?

I have a video (with no science-fiction like eye movement tracking involved! ;) ) and a an article to share with you that are all specifically about challenging preschool behavior. Start by clicking here to go to my new Challenging Preschool Behaviors article.  In the article you'll find: 1.  A link to a video from ChildCareExchange that helps us look at our role and how we look at, and react to, challenging behavior.  It is an awesome (under 10 minute) video that you really need to watch! 2.  Information on de-escalating challenging behaviors based on The Pyramid Model. 3.  A link to an article that covers the 4 steps to proper behavior guidance. Get your favorite beverage and check those articles and the ChildCare Exchange Video Out!  You'll be glad you did! Do you have resources you can share with us about challenging preschool behavior?  Put them in the comments below!

About the author

Cheryl Hatch has taught and directed preschool programs for over 20 years.  She is the Creator and Owner of Preschool Plan It, a website dedicated to sharing preschool themes, activities, articles and training with early childhood educators.  She volunteers as the coordinator and teacher of the MOPPETS program in her town (a preschool program for the M.O.P.S.--Mothers of Preschoolers Program).  She has her undergraduate degree in Early Childhood Education.  Cheryl has been an active, integral member and leader within the Teachers.Net Early Childhood community for many years, moderating live chats and providing peer support on the Preschool Teachers Chatboard.  You can read Cheryl’s articles, activities and themed preschool lesson plans at www.preschool-plan-it.com 

Don't Blame the Parents... Work with Them

A big frustration for preschool teachers is having that child in the class that demonstrates a behavior that is challenging and disruptive.  You have tried everything to get the child to cooperate so the next step is to contact the parents.  The director hopes that it won’t come down to having to remove the child from the school so she keeps her fingers crossed that the parents will be open enough to help with the situation.

Approaching the parents of the child can be the real challenge.  You may worry about whether they will be receptive to the problem or will they get defensive?  Will they take the stance that they don’t know what to do or that their child couldn't possibly be behaving this way?  Having worked with both schools and parents for many years, let me offer five tips for partnering with parents in resolving in-school behavior issues.

BEFORE CONTACTING THE PARENTS.  A child in your classroom who is demonstrating challenging behavior can be incredibly frustrating.  Before reaching out to the parents to turn this problem over to them, be sure that you've taken care of your responsibility first.  Has the child’s teacher received adequate training to handle the problem in her classroom?  Have you considered seeking out a behavior analyst to observe and assess the situation?  Not all challenging behaviors start at home.  Because children are affected by adult emotional chaos, some behavior situations can be caused by the teacher herself.  Is she handling her classroom well and is she entering the classroom in a peaceful and emotionally balanced state?

PARTNER WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.  Put your fears and

preconceived ideas aside in order to create an atmosphere of openness and acceptance.  You may have information about the parents and their lifestyle, but it’s best to prepare for the conversation with an open mind and without assuming how they will react or what they will say.  Remember, you receive what you put forth.  Assuming you will receive the best in parents is more likely to make it happen.

CLEARLY DEFINE THE PROBLEM.  As the teacher or director, you are the professional and usually have more knowledge on child development than the parents do.  Therefore it’s important that you clearly define the problem you’re having with the child in the classroom and put it in terms the parents will be able to understand.  While the child may be disruptive and uncooperative in your classroom, do your best to see the child’s behavior for what it is.  According to many child psychologists, a child’s challenging behavior is often indications of an unmet need such as attention or power.  It could also be that the child is just too immature and not yet ready for the classroom situation.  Consult a behavior specialist if one is available to you before assessing the problem you’re having with the child.

GIVE THE PARENTS HOMEWORK.  Do not assume that you can just tell the parent about the problem you’re experiencing and expect them to know what to do.  Think about the behavior challenge and help your parents understand what similar behavior to look for at home.  Give them specific actions or discipline measures to take at home, especially if they experience the same behavior challenges that are being seen in the classroom.  When children see the same discipline measures in the home as well as the classroom, they are more likely to become cooperative a lot quicker.

SCHEDULE A FORMAL MEETING.  Once the parents have had an opportunity to look for the challenging behaviors at home and/or to try out suggestions from you, schedule a formal meeting with them including the teaching staff and the director.  Invite discussion about their findings and progress at home.  Treating the parents as members of your team and keeping a positive attitude about the initiatives of this group will avoid having the discussion turn into an uncomfortable conflict.

SEND PROGRESS REPORTS.  If the parents are cooperative and everyone has agreed to work together, send home progress reports about your observations of the child’s behavior in the classroom and invite parents to do the same.  Stay engaged with the parents and thank them for their cooperation.  Be sure that your approach with them is kind, supportive and encouraging.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS.  If you've done all that you can and either the parents are uncooperative or the child’s behavior is not changing, you may be forced with having to ask the parents to remove their child from the school.  As uncomfortable as this might be, it is always best to communicate this to the parents in person and not through email or letter.  Be sensitive to the parents’ position and avoid becoming defensive of yours.  Determine the length of time that should elapse before the child will be allowed to re-enroll in the school and help the parents focus on that date.  Consider sharing the information regarding this incident with other teachers to help educate them on best practices in their classrooms.

Bill Corbett is the author of the award winning book series “Love, Limits, & Lessons: A

Parent’s Guide to Raising Cooperative Kids” in English and in Spanish, and the founder and president of Cooperative Kids.  He has three grown children, three step children, two grandchildren, and lives with his wife Elizabeth and teen step daughter Olivia near Hartford, CT.  You can visit his Web site www.CooperativeKids.com for further information and parenting advice.