Teaching Kindness and Acceptance

I just adore Chrysanthemum...How can you not fall in love with this sweet, cute, precious little mouse?? Even my students love her!

  

This year, we kicked off the year using the book Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes, to teach our unit on names. After reading the book to students and completing the activites, I had to ask myself, "Why have I never used this book to teach names, acceptance, kindness and respect for ourselves and others? WHY WHY WHY??"

 On the first day I just read the story to students and let them discuss what we read.

One the second day, before I read the story, I had a large red heart that I showed the children. We talked about how nice and pretty the heart was without any crinkles or markings on it. Then I told the children that each time they heard hurtful words, to crumple up the heart. I got this idea from Nancy over at First Grade W.O.W! Click on the link to take you directly to her post on this particular Chrysanthemum mini unit and to get other ideas! (She has some really great ideas for teaching social skills, I love her blog!)

At the end of the book, our heart was crumpled and it actually even tore a little bit. This brought us to the discussion of how words that we use can be hurtful and when we use hurtful words, they make a mark on someones heart that can't be fixed. I showed that students that once a heart is broken...or crinkled, it may never be the same...we can't smooth out the heart after those words are said...we can't take back hurtful words. I let that soak in for a little bit and let the students discuss their feelings and if someone has ever hurt them.

Day 3, I read the story yet again and this time we talk about ways to help heal someones heart or keep it from getting hurt. Some of the ideas my students came up with were: Saying I am sorry, not using those words at all, being kind to everyone, not  making fun of others and helping others.
After that discussion, we took our band-aides and helped to heal Chrysanthemum's heart and attached a poem to the center that reads: Before you speak, think and be smart. It's hard to fix a wrinkled heart!

Day 4 - Students made their own Chrysanthemum! The kiddos were so proud of them and I must say, they turned out adorable! We also made speech bubbles, from Chrysanthemum that say "I think the name _________ is perfect! Love, Chrysanthemum" I made this into our bulletin board for the quarter, to remind my students to always think before they speak.

Day 5: I let the kiddos act out the story as I narrated. Since this was our first acting of the school year, of course many of the students were shy and not sure what to do, but they tried their best and NO ONE made fun of each other...and that is all that mattered because that meant, the lesson taught them exactly what it was supposed to :)

And I must say after doing this mini unit, I hear my students complimenting each other all day long, every day! It is such a wonderful sound...music to my ears.

 Carie is a kindergarten teacher from Illinois who writes on the 17th of each month. She shares her experiences and ideas from her classroom, writing about reading, writing, math, Art, and several other fun and exciting things!

Carie also writes her own blog: 

Kindergarten Hugs

Kindergarten Hugs

Treat Me Like I'm Someone You Love

I was shopping at the local “big box” store in town recently.  As I was walking out into the parking lot, I noticed a mother walking in front of me with a preschooler-aged little boy and a little girl of probably 8 or 9.  The mother was yelling at the little girl to “Get back here… NOW!”  The little girl seemed mad about something and she was walking a few feet ahead of the woman.

When the mother yelled (and quite loud I must say), the girl would immediately stop in her tracks, arms folded, face down and with a huge frown.  As the mother caught up to the girl, she yelled at her with a phrase something like “If you walk ahead of me one more time, you’re gonna get it when we get home!”  But as soon as the mother was almost within an arm’s reach to her, the little girl would quickly walk ahead.”

This went on for the entire walk out into the parking lot.  With the constant threats and the woman’s growing anger, I feared the mother might hit her daughter (assuming she was her daughter).  Customers passing us by, quickly looked the other way .  She had a very big build and sounded and looked tired and angry.  I was afraid she was going to have had enough with the girl.

I’ve witnessed this incident many times in the past and I think because I am a parent educator, I feel very sensitive to the situation.  I can feel the mother’s pain of being tired, stressed and angry, and not in need of anyone adding to what she already feels.  And I can feel for the little girl who may be acting this way because she is mad about something that occurred between her and her mother earlier.  It seems like a no-win situation that could quickly get out of hand if the mother is not able to control her anger. 

My friend and pediatrician Susan Markel, MD asks parents to avoid losing control at all costs.  Chapter 8 in her book What Your Pediatrician Doesn’t Know Can Hurt Your Child (BenBella Books;2010) is titled Treat Me Like I’m Someone You Love.  In it she warns parents that taking your anger or frustration out on your child is likely to lead them to feeling like there is something wrong with them.

If you ever find yourself in this situation with your children, remain calm, stop talking and give up the urge to control the outcome.  Take several deep breaths and get yourself and your children home quickly.  Take a break as soon as you can and know that you are human and need breaks from the kids now and again.  I love that Dr. Markel also says “Behavior is not taught to children by talking about it.  Rather, correct behavior is demonstrated, observed and experienced… children learn to be nice by having someone be nice to them.”

Bill Corbett is the author of the award-winning parenting book series, LOVE, LIMITS, & LESSONS: A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS (in English and in Spanish) and the executive producer and host of the public access television show CREATING COOPERATIVE KIDS. As a member of the American Psychological Association and the North American Society for Adlerian Psychology, Bill provides parent coaching and keynote presentations to parent and professional audiences across the country. He sits on the board of the Network Against Domestic Abuse and the Resource Advisory Committee for Attachment Parenting International, and holds several degrees in clinical psychology. Bill's practical experience comes as a father of 3 grown children, a grandfather of two, and a stepdad to three.  You can learn more about his work at http://www.CooperativeKids.com and http://www.BillCorbett.com.