In the rush of daily life, parents often find themselves scrambling to meet deadlines, manage schedules, and simply keep the household running. But amid the chaos, there lies an opportunity to create something deeply meaningful: a practice of writing love notes between parents and children. This small but powerful ritual has the potential to nurture emotional health, deepen family bonds, and create a home atmosphere rooted in love and connection.
Why Love Notes Matter
Children thrive when they feel loved, seen, and valued. A regular love note practice reinforces these feelings in a tangible way. For some parents—especially those who struggle to express emotions verbally—writing love notes can become a safe, thoughtful channel to communicate affection.
GET THE NEW LOVE NOTES BOOK TO SHARE WITH YOUR CHILD
How I Came Up With The Idea of the Love Note Book
During a family meeting when our three children were 7, 9 and 12, I introduced the exercise of writing each other notes of encouragement or love. At first, our oldest thought it was dumb, but when she saw that the two little ones were eating it up, she got on board. The kids loved it and didn't want the exercise to stop. I brought a package of brown lunch bags to the meeting and had everyone decorate their own love bag, along with writing their name on it (I still have mine all wrinkled and very used, in a keepsake box in my closet).
Later that night following the family meeting, when my wife and I went to bed, we found our new "mail bags" outside of our room, stuffed with folded-up notes addressed to each of us. We had so much fun reading them and then responding to each one with our written replies. Keep in mind that we found the kids' love bags sitting on the floor outside each of their rooms. So before we went to sleep, we dropped notes to each one of them in their love bags.
This practice went on as the kids grew up, and it gave me the idea that we would write love notes to each other in specially marked notebooks. And the books could then be swapped back and forth with each person every day. That means each person would have their own love notebook.
HERE IS ANOTHER VERSION OF THE LOVE NOTE BOOK FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD
Emotional Health Benefits
• Learning that love is safe to express: Children absorb lessons about emotions by observing and participating in family patterns. A love note habit teaches them that sharing feelings is not only acceptable but celebrated.
• Feeling truly cherished: Seeing heartfelt words in writing can make love feel concrete and enduring. For a child, the phrase “I’m proud of you” in ink might become something they revisit again and again, long after it was written.
• Strengthening family resilience: Love notes can be especially powerful during difficult times. They serve as gentle reminders that even when life feels chaotic, love remains a constant anchor.
Strengthening the Family Atmosphere
This practice does more than impact individual children—it shapes the emotional climate of the home.
• Fostering closeness: Passing notes back and forth invites moments of connection in an otherwise busy week.
• Encouraging gratitude and kindness: Children who receive written affirmations are more likely to express their own appreciation in return, creating a positive feedback loop.
• Building lasting family traditions: Love notebooks can become treasured keepsakes, preserving a record of shared growth, joys, and challenges over time.
One particularly effective approach is to create a “love notebook” for each child. This is a dedicated notebook that is passed back and forth between parent and child, filled with hand-written notes, drawings, or even pasted-in mementos. Over time, it becomes a living document of affection.
How It Works:
1. Choose a special notebook: Let your child pick one they like so it feels personal.
2. Write the first note: Start with something simple and heartfelt. “I love how curious you are,” or “I’m so proud of you for helping your brother today.”
3. Leave it somewhere they will find it: On their pillow, at their spot at the breakfast table, or tucked into their backpack.
4. Invite them to respond: Encourage your child to write or draw something back when they’re ready.
5. Keep it consistent: Make this a regular ritual—weekly or biweekly works well for many families.
This method works beautifully because it creates a tangible, ongoing exchange that belongs to both parent and child. It becomes a private, sacred space for affirmations, encouragement, and even apologies or difficult conversations when needed.
Love Note Prompt Ideas
To help families get started, here are some gentle prompts for parents and children to use. These can spark ideas and make the practice less intimidating.
For Parents to Write to Children
• “One thing I love about who you are becoming is…”
• “I noticed you tried really hard at ___ this week, and I’m proud of you.”
• “When I think about you, I feel grateful for…”
• “This week you made me smile when you…”
• “One of my favorite memories of us is…”
• “If you were a superhero, your power would be… and here’s why.”
For Children to Write to Parents
• “Thank you for helping me with…”
• “I felt really happy when we…”
• “One thing I think you are great at is…”
• “I like when you tell me stories about…”
• “If I could plan a day for us, we would…”
• “This made me laugh today, and I wanted to share it with you…”
For Everyone
• “My favorite thing about our family right now is…”
• “Something that made me feel loved this week was…”
• “One thing I want to do together soon is…”
These prompts don’t need to be followed exactly. Their purpose is to inspire heartfelt communication, whether through words, drawings, or even stickers and doodles.
Tips for Parents to Encourage the Habit
• Make it playful: Love notes don’t have to be serious. Silly drawings, jokes, or riddles keep the exchange fun and inviting.
• Celebrate effort, not just achievement: Praise kindness, perseverance, and curiosity—not only grades or accomplishments.
• Model vulnerability: Share your own feelings in writing. “I felt really proud watching you at the recital,” or “I was sad when we argued, but I love you no matter what.”
• Be consistent, not perfect: Even if life gets busy and you miss a week, pick it up again. The consistency over time matters more than a flawless schedule.
• Include both parents if possible: When both caregivers contribute, the notebook reflects the whole family’s love and support.
A Legacy of Love
Years from now, these notebooks will tell a story—one not just of childhood, but of a family that prioritized love and connection. When your child looks back, they won’t just see the words you wrote. They’ll remember how those words made them feel: loved, secure, and deeply connected to you.
